Thursday, June 09, 2005

Stories from the baby daddy front

(feel free to skip down a paragraph or two if you're not into the legal procedure...)

Ok, so its finally time to take the prisoners to the bench. The Judge gives each of the prisoners a writ of habeas corpus ad prosequem-- meaning a hearing to determine if their release amount should be lowered due to their inability to pay-- the cornerstone of civil contempt which is what we use to jail non-paying parents. The saying goes that someone in civil contempt has the keys to the jail because they should theoretically be able to do what is required for their release.

Plain and simple, every time we have a child support docket all the men in jail are dragged out and have a hearing to see if the Court should reduce the purge amount.

I call up Mr. X first. All three of his babymommas are there and they have united in their anger towards Mr. X. They stand in a simicircle behind me, hands on hips with all the attitude of their combined disgust. I begin my recitation of his sins... Mr. X has not paid in three years, which, incidentally was the last time he was in jail. The last time he paid voluntarily was 6 years ago. We issued a writ for Mr. X after he failed to cooperate with the employment program...That was over 6 months ago... He is behind in child support to three women, a total of (somewhere in the low six figures).

At this point an audible gasp can be heard in the courtroom, and Mr. X interrupts me with a jailhouse version of legal language. "I objects to the characterization of my person as someone who is a deadbeat. I am physically..." I turn to him and ask him not to interrupt me, and I continue with my opening salvo...Which he immediately interrupts by saying, "I objects yo honor. She is grievously affecting my rights."

The judge overrules his objection and tells him he will have a chance to speak.

I finish my part with a general plea to not reduce his purge due to his deliberate attempts to take advantage of the system and his failure to comply with the employment programs. The women chorus my speech with uh huh.

Remember that post a while back with the advice from defense attorneys part of which read, "You have the right to remain silent so shut the Fuck up?"

Well, he should have.

He began by telling the Judge what he said in the last order.

At this point the Judge stood up and peered over his glasses off the side of the bench with his arms crossed over his chest. It always means either he knows you're about to lie to him big time, or you've just raised an issue he really likes. In this case, I don't think Mr. X has raised an interesting point of law. "Now what did I say in my order?"

Mr. X tells the Judge he relieved his duty to pay child support until he had his operation.

I knew this was coming, as it always does with Mr. X- he always tries to misconstrue orders. "Your honor, if you would refer to the order of (date) you will see that you relieved his obligation to report to jail at that time."

(Legal point: the Judge would not have the power to relieve him of his duty to pay child support even if he wanted to. He could refuse to hold him in contempt, but he would still owe the money.)

Mr. X breaks in "But I reported to the jail."

(Remember it took six months to execute on the warrant, therefore this is factually impossible) At this point I couldn't help myself. I laughed. The women make disgusted noises.

The Judge breaks in with "You've been reporting to the jail every weekend?" His eyebrows are raised.

Mr. X realizes how bad this sounds. He begins to backtrack. "Umb ubm You sees I reported till you told me not to. yah."

I go over the order with the Judge who hands the file to Mr. X so he can read the order.

Having no appreciation of the law, Mr. X continues to dig a himself a hole, "Judge I've been working and I have finally saved up the 3000 for the operation and I been thinking I could give it to you to purge me out of here and my doctor said he would do it for 500 and so if I could keep the 500 and give you the 2500 then I could do that."

I am looking at him with my head cocked, mouth open and the women are looking disgusted and making little sounds of disbelief.

The Judge says, "Now let me get this straight, and repeats it all back to him."

Uh huh.

The Judge is just shaking his head at the fact that he just confessed to having been working, making money and not paying child support.

Mr. X is distraught with the unfairness of it all-- "but yo honor you said would wouldn't put me in jail no mo."

The Judge says, no, no I didn't. He point swith his gavel--Just Go-- sit back down. Your purge is unchanged.

After that, all the women were strutting out of there all yeah we showed him-- and I didn't have a bit of trouble out of any of the other non-payers...they all happily spoke with the program workers or gave me a plan for them to get out and pay.

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