Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Phone Call

"Good Morning P. L. "

"Hey P.L. this is Joe!"

"Hi Joe, What's up?"

"Your secretary told me to call today about three."

"Joe, What time is it?"

"Ten. But I just wanted to call and say hi!"

"Ok, I don't know anything. Sorry, I'm busy gotta run."

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Oh and a final thought...

Ok, I haven't cracked on people lately and I couldn't let this one pass by: Woman in Court today wearing a very much too small bra under her white, spaghetti strap tank top which gave her like 8 inches of front boob cleavage. Her much too small bra was still a three hook in the back (which is a bra built for a well endowed woman.) which I know for sure because her shirt covered no actual part of the bra. It might have looked sexy on stage just before mounting a pole. It did not look sexy in a Courtroom with side cleavage (Ask a woman) and a stomach that stuck out to about the same point the boobs did.

The prosecutor managed to look her in the eye.

After she left, I remarked to him: I guess she thought if she brought those bargaining chips with her you might go easier on her. His reply? Naw, she brought them to threaten to smother me if I didn't go her way.

Hehehe. We do try to have fun.

More fun reading....

If you aren't reading Anon. Lawyer you really should. He's the polar opposite of what I stand for- but very, very entertaining. Reminds me why I love my small town practice where I'm the big fish in the small pond- and makes me thankful I consider it a scheduling and discipline problem if I have to leave the office as late as 6: 30. Of course, he'd point out I'm not even on the food chain as far as he's concerned and his legal secretary probably makes more than I do.

Lets put it this way: No one ever thought as they were dying: I wish I'd spent more time at the office.

The latest in time wasting for Court...

This is my favorite new thing for wasting time in Court....

If you don't know how each row, column and 3x3 square contains the numbers 1-9 without repetition... There are finer points, but that's the gist. I think there are hints on the web site.

Have a great Memorial Day.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

The Phone

When I was a little girl, phones were still attached to the wall. They were usually black and had large dials and you would put your finger in the appropriate number hole, pull the dialer around to the end with your finger and then let go and it would roll back to the start position with a very satisfying tik, tik, tik and then you would dial another number... Until all of them were dialed...

....I still just didn't get into the phone. Sure, there was an occasional bout with a little boy I met at youth group or something where we would talk on the phone to the extent that Mommy Dearest would tell me that 3 hours really was long enough.... but for the most part, they would encourage me to talk on the phone, because I just didn't do it.

I have never liked phones. I was thrilled when cell phones got small and affordable, because I could cancel my home phone and move on to only having a cell. I liked that- convenient. I also felt kind of sick every time I came home and looked at the phone with its blinking light...Something to take care of.... Blink blink...Attention... Blink blink.

So now I have my cell phone. And I really don't talk on the phone much.

So yesterday MadDog and I drove to major city near us to get some records for a case and I was on the phone the entire freaking way talking to clients and solving problems and I turned to MadDog and said, "You know how I loose my cool when you call me on the weekends?" and naturally he did know when I lost my cool as its not really something one forgets, since it doesn't tend to happen so often, "This is why. These people suck all my energy and and I have none left when you call. I am sorry I get unhappy with you."

And then I remembered a few weeks ago when he called in the middle of a CLE and I texted him back to tell him I was in a meeting and asked if it was important and he-- oh yes, he CALLED BACK TO TELL ME IT WASN'T IMPORTANT which I learned after I SCRAMBLED OUT OF THE ROOM IN A PANICS BECAUSE DEAR LORD, WHY WOULD HE CALL BACK IF IT WASN'T IMPORTANT AND MADDOG REALLY KNOWS WHAT'S IMPORTANT AND WHAT'S NOT AND ****** yeah, it wasn't important. (Ok, so I did slam him about calling back when it wasn't important and then he made me feel bad because the texting just confused him and he didn't mean to upset me.) And then we had a conversation about texting and how nice it can be.

And then I remembered the "vacation" I had recently when he called six times a day.

and after telling them about this until I am blue in the face, and trying to teach them not to call me before noon, I realized I just have to dig deeper in the patience well and not loose my cool with him just because he called to tell me that they have so-and-so at Mike's House of Mostly Useless Merchandise at 9:30 AM on Saturday morning because its not him I'm pissed at, its the fifteen million other people who called last week to ask me when the Judge would grant their motion when I only submitted it two days ago, or call to tell me that got a new job when I GAVE them a sheet not even a week ago telling them they had to write and letter to the Court and tell them they got a job because I AM NOT A JUDGE.

Yeah, so that's my relationship with phones. I don't like phones and I'm not answering mine right now. So nanny nanny boo-booo.

Friday, May 19, 2006

And then, even the smart ones do something dumb.

You know, I don't really bitch except in my blogs. I think that's why writing has slowed down a bit lately- because how often is it interesting to hear what an idiot my client was today? (By the way, I said this to a friend of mine and she told me it was always interesting and each client's fresh idiocy made her laugh, so I will keep telling you about the idiots.... Just not today.)

So today I'm going to tell you some nice things about my clients.

My very favorite all time client, and the very amazing, very cool gift he sent me.

He worked at a fireworks factory and I helped him fix some stuff his mortgage company had screwed up. He was sooo happy about it he sent me 4 GIANT boxes of every firework imaginable. No, really, every firework imaginable. Like, you walked into a fireworks stand when you were a kid and said, "Daddy, Daddy Daddy I want I want I want..." And he actually got it for you- which I can assure you MadDog never did, which is perfectly Ok with me now as an adult, because I know and understand what it would take work wise to purchase a grand of fireworks and why things like, ohhhh, clothes are more important. But man oh man was that a fun three days shooting those things off. I had the ultra-super-mega version of everything new and hip and I felt like Coolie McCool.

And then there are those who send me thank you letters. And pictures of their children. And jam. And candles. I really appreciate those because most of the time, instead, I hear from the ones who hate me. I have, in fact, a folder of thank you letters and some days when I'm really down about whether or not I make a difference I pull them out and read them. And I know, I do , in fact, make the world a better place and that, that makes being at work Friday afternoon at 5:15 PM all ok.

Have a great weekend.

Monday, May 15, 2006

Human Nature

First, Sorry-- I've been busy. Sometimes it just ends up that way.

Second, a bird has chosen my mailbox in which to build her home.

She worked very hard to make it a nice nest with soft moss and bits of fluffy stuff. I believe it is a Mocking Bird.

I thought she had abandoned it after several weeks of mail being placed in it occasionally. But no, she didn't. One morning I pulled the mail out and glanced down and there was an egg!

So, naturally I put a note on the box asking the mail person to place the mail under the box, and he has.

Here's the thing-- everyone who comes in now reads the note- which makes them want to see the egg--- so they stick their head over the edge of the box to peer in. 'cause we gotta see the bird nesting and her egg, don't we? We are human, I suppose.

Ok, lets think this through people- What is going to happen when your big old human eye comes over the horizon into her safe little nesting area? Hmmm?

Yep- that bird is going to fly straight at you. And scream at you. And then dance on your head and scream some more. And then fly to the tree and scream at you some more.

MadDog was laughing at himself this morning- he said, "I really want to see how its going, but I know she'll fly out and scream at me so I have to force myself not to look."

I did get a picture of the nest, and I'll try to post it. See, I have been thinking of you my wonderful readers, I just have been working working working. Good stuff thought, and I have some posts rolling around up in my brain- I just want to let them marinate for a while before I offer them.