Thursday, October 19, 2006

Catch up and procrastinate....

Today is the first day this week I'm not in Court and there is a big old pile of files on my desk which need attention and all I want to do is surf the web and eat yummy snacks my sweet husband made.

Plus, its rainy. And my secretary is sick at home. So I thought I'd blog a bit.

I almost never blog anything personal- I mean, during the life of this blog, I have dated one guy, broken up, been single, dated another guy and gotten married and only maybe two entries?

So, for those of you who do know me, you know I'm just like that- kind of like the imaginary line between Church and State is the line between my blog and my life.

I fictionalize things in my blog- combine stories and things I see- shoot, I'm in Court 15-20 hours a week so there's lots of fodder- and I don't like to fictionalize my life so I leave it out of this.

I guess I also like to pretend I'm anonymous. But today, I'll give you a glimpse into some things I love...

I love my sweet husband. He is the kind of guy who when you get home from a long day fighting people, and its raining, he meets you at the car door with an umbrella. He's the kind of guy who packed me little yummy snacks- cut up in tupperware, with toothpicks so I can share with the rest of the office no less. He's the kind of guy who takes cute pictures of the cats and dogs and shows me. Who makes me the screen saver on his phone- and thinks I beautiful in the picture which is of me sweating and waxing a canoe for the parentals with no makeup. He likes my hair best in a ponytail, but thought it was great when I cut it (again) for locks-of-love.

St. Yves' Keebler Scat Yummies:

1. A graham cracker crust (prebought or make your own- sometimes I use the oreo crust instead)
2. Layer semi sweet or special dark chips and peanut butter chips on bottom (or be creative).
3. Layer of coconut
4. Layer of chocolate and any kind of chip you like (White, butterscotch, heath, milk chocolate ect...)
5. Pour one can of sweetened condensed milk on top. (I use fat free because, really, its bad enough already)
6. Bake at 350-375 for half an hour or until it caramelizes.
7. Cool and cut into one inch squares.
- the coconut is the key- even if you don't like coconut- it lightens and gives that chewy goodness. I put in enough chips so that it is slightly rounded when I put it in the oven. I have added almond slivers which was good. Mini M and M's are also fun.

I Love my dogs. I love sitting on the sofa at night and having them piled around me... Especially when the kitties are brave enough to come sit on my lap so I'm totally surrounded by animals. Sometimes I wish my mommy dearest hadn't talked me out of going to vet school. Heh. Actually that's a funny story...

So, baby Philosophicalawyer wanted to be a vet. She sold turtles at school. She obsessed about horses. She loved animals. Mommy dearest decided maybe being a vet wasn't a good idea so she took Baby PL out to the farm on a cold March morning for the birth of a calf. At 5 Am. Did I mention it was cold? And 5 AM? So, the Vet puts the big glove on, lubes up, and slides his hand up the cow's hoo-ha. She turns to me and says, Do you really want to be doing this in the cold at 5 am?

My response?

At least his arm is warm. (That's pretty witty for a six year old.)

It wasn't actually the hand up the cow that turned me off of vetting, it was the whole 5 am thing. And I didn't like Auburn, where the vet school is. (Which is such a stupid reason, but I can be an adult and admit now that it did factor in.) But I still love animals.

I knew I was in love with my now husband when we were driving down the road and there was a dog in the road that we both thought moved. He stopped, turned around and pulled over. When we reached it, it was clearly dead. He got an extra shirt out of the car and picked the dog up anyway, so that if his family found him he wouldn't be disfigured by another car hit. He laid him on the side of the road in the grass and we held hands and stood there for a minute before we left.

So, there you are- a little glimpse into the personal life of a lawyer. Next week? More fun books and "Gardening- its not just good for the world, its good for your health" a method to make the world better and be happier.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

More clients....

Yes Ma'am, child support is supposed to cover clothes. (DUH.)

Yes, I know it goes for other things too, but clothes are definitely covered in the calculations. (Yes, I HAVE BEEN DOING THIS FOR FIVE YEARS.)

No, Ma'am, I'm sorry, but I can't force him to pay child support when he's in prison. (DUH) But, I will make sure he pays until he does go.

No Ma'am, he didn't stab our process server, I would know about that. He must have stabbed someone else. (OH GREAT, NOW I'M IN COURT WITH STABBY McSTABBERSON- AND I HAVE TO REPRESENT THE ANGRY BABY MOMMA.) Yes, Ma'am, I'm sure if wasn't our bounty hunter.

Huh, your 4 year old child was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder? Could you bring me the letter from the doctor where he sys that? (Silly me, I thought they wouldn't diagnose that until they were 18.) (YOU KNOW, I GET REAL IRRITATED WHEN YOU LIE TO ME.)

No, Ma'am, I can't put him in jail for not giving you an insurance card when he wasn't ordered to do that. (DUH)

No, Ma'am, I can't force him to get dental insurance if its not available at his job. I will get an order that he has to pay you back 1/2 of the bill when you go to the dentist. (BUT IF HE'S IN PRISON, IT WON'T BE WORTH THE PAPER ITS WRITTEN ON.)

No, Ma'am, he won't be required to pay you up front. (AND IF YOU BRUSHED YOUR CHILD'S TEETH HE WOULDN'T HAVE 8 CAVITIES.)

No, Ma'am, I'm sorry, but he will get credit for paying for the insurance.

Yes, Ma'am, I'm sorry, $600 per month seems a little steep for day care. (WHEN YOUR TAKE HOME PAY IS $1100 A MONTH.)

Yes, ma'am, I know your mom's services are invaluable, but the law says I can only collect $69 bucks a week for that. (AND NOW, I THINK YOU'RE LYING ABOUT THAT TOO- BECAUSE YOU DON'T MAKE ENOUGH MONEY TO GIVE HER THAT MUCH.)



Friday, October 13, 2006

Aphorisms for Friday

I have been in Court a total of 15 hours this week- which is tough when Court is only in session for about 6 hours per day, Monday was a holiday and I don't have court today. So out of 18 possible hours of Court I was there 15- plus, I was both myself and MadDog AND I was usually in two Courts at the same time.

But, aside from bending the laws of physics, it was a good week. I did well, I did good, and I nailed a couple of people's balls to the wall.

The old aphorism goes: If the facts are on your side, pound the facts, if the law is on your side pound the law and if neither is on your side, pound the table. I had a table pounding case yesterday. I was at a disadvantage to begin with because it was a motion to alter amend or vacate and MadDog argued the original case so I had no idea about the previously offered testimony, but the other lawyer had just been hired, so he didn't either. Just picture it: two lawyers arguing about the sufficiency of evidence offered that neither was present to hear the evidence initially.

Have a good weekend!

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

My baby has Two daddies.... (Another in our ongoing Legal Conundrums file...)

So, two men are claiming to be Anna Nichole Smith's baby's daddy. (And that fact, in and of itself, is just simply mindbogglingly bizarre to me....)

A really fascinating legal situation which will, I predict, turn on a number of issues, not the least of which is: Where does she reside? Where does the baby reside? (Child was born in Bahamas- does it have dual citizenship?) Where will the case be heard?

In Alabama (The only state's laws about which I know very much....) we have a case called Ex Parte Presse which says: if you're married and give birth, only the husband has standing to challenge paternity- not the mom, not the Bio-Dad (as they refer to him in the tabloids.)

So, in Alabama, if Smith and her lawyer got married after the child's birth (and there are issues with the whole "impregnating your current client" thing, but that's for another blog....) , and the husband claimed the child as his own, meeting certain legal requirements, bio-dad would be thrown out of Court.

I was actually friends with one of the children involved in Ex Parte Presse- its a fascinating case in and of itself: Husband and wife have four children. Wife is having affair and both she, the husband, and the paramour know baby belongs to paramour- but husband is PISSED. So Pissed in fact, that he decides to claim the baby as his and GET CUSTODY.

Oh yes, CUSTODY. And because our law was written to legitimate children, only he, the husband, has standing to challenge paternity of his child- if he won't do it, no one can.

I think about that child sometimes and it reminds me of the aphorism that hard cases make bad law.

I'm also going to bet that California has some wacky child support/legitimation laws. Should be interesting if it goes down there. Of course, I always think of her as living in Texas, but then I really don't know very much about her....