More clients....

Yes Ma'am, child support is supposed to cover clothes. (DUH.)

Yes, I know it goes for other things too, but clothes are definitely covered in the calculations. (Yes, I HAVE BEEN DOING THIS FOR FIVE YEARS.)

No, Ma'am, I'm sorry, but I can't force him to pay child support when he's in prison. (DUH) But, I will make sure he pays until he does go.

No Ma'am, he didn't stab our process server, I would know about that. He must have stabbed someone else. (OH GREAT, NOW I'M IN COURT WITH STABBY McSTABBERSON- AND I HAVE TO REPRESENT THE ANGRY BABY MOMMA.) Yes, Ma'am, I'm sure if wasn't our bounty hunter.

Huh, your 4 year old child was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder? Could you bring me the letter from the doctor where he sys that? (Silly me, I thought they wouldn't diagnose that until they were 18.) (YOU KNOW, I GET REAL IRRITATED WHEN YOU LIE TO ME.)

No, Ma'am, I can't put him in jail for not giving you an insurance card when he wasn't ordered to do that. (DUH)

No, Ma'am, I can't force him to get dental insurance if its not available at his job. I will get an order that he has to pay you back 1/2 of the bill when you go to the dentist. (BUT IF HE'S IN PRISON, IT WON'T BE WORTH THE PAPER ITS WRITTEN ON.)

No, Ma'am, he won't be required to pay you up front. (AND IF YOU BRUSHED YOUR CHILD'S TEETH HE WOULDN'T HAVE 8 CAVITIES.)

No, Ma'am, I'm sorry, but he will get credit for paying for the insurance.

Yes, Ma'am, I'm sorry, $600 per month seems a little steep for day care. (WHEN YOUR TAKE HOME PAY IS $1100 A MONTH.)

Yes, ma'am, I know your mom's services are invaluable, but the law says I can only collect $69 bucks a week for that. (AND NOW, I THINK YOU'RE LYING ABOUT THAT TOO- BECAUSE YOU DON'T MAKE ENOUGH MONEY TO GIVE HER THAT MUCH.)

Yes, Ma'am, I know he earns $2,000.00 a month, but we have to follow Rule 32. (AND NOW I FEEL BAD FOR HIM BECAUSE THAT'S REALLY NOT THAT MUCH MONEY AND HE HAS PAID EVERY MONTH SINCE WE STARTED THIS THING THREE YEARS AGO, AND YOU ARE ACTING LIKE HE'S EVIL WHEN IN MY BOOK, HE'S A COOPERATIVE ONE AT LEAST.)

Sigh.