Monday, June 19, 2006

In the Courtroom....

So today a man came in and said he hadn't been served when the process server said he had been. So I called him up and he remembered the guy all right- said the guy first ran out the back door, then chased him around with a baseball bat and then threw the papers on the ground and jumped up and down on them.

The guy's lawyer is all holier-than-thou "you didn't serve my client! This writ must be recalled!" and the guy is sitting there claiming he never received nothin' and I get to fight back with "You Honor, my process server is on his way and his version is very different from this man's version and he will be testifying that he did serve the papers just as he swore in the affidavit."

And the guy looks up and says, "That crazy son-of-a-bitch is commin' here?" and I looked at his lawyer and back at him and said, "Yeah, the one who served papers on you." And guy says, "He was tresspassing! He didn't have permission to be on my property!" So of course, before process server can even get there dude changes his story to one of being harassed by the process server- and, this is where other lawyers frustrate me- instead of telling his client to deal with it- other lawyer is explaining to his client how to get a warrant for my process server's arrest for tresspassing! And I just want to smack the lawyer- he should be telling his client to sit down, shut up and do what he is supposed to do. When the lawyer asked me the process server's contact information I told him no way would I give it to him and I couldn't believe he wouldn't steer his client away from doing that. He just shrugged.

Oh well, he'll never get a conviction and guy's attention span is probably too short to maintain interest that long.

Second good thing for Monday? Got a call today from a man who I beat up pretty badly in a divorce two years ago- wants me to do his loan closing. So cool when they hire you after you did them in.

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Fun Court Stories....

Ok, so yesterday I defended 6 people in the morning and prosecuted 5 people in the afternoon. It can make you feel kind of bi-polar to do that, but it can also help you see the big picture.

My particular defendants were pretty routine, but then there was a fabulous case that wasn't even mine.

A woman and a man standing in front of the Judge. They are in their 50s or 60s and married. Country folk. The woman is pleading guilty to DV III. The Judge's asks her if she hit the man. She tells him she'd rather not say and he tells her she must tell him if she's going to plead guilty. So she says, "Yeah, he walked into my home with another woman and I sure as heck did punch him in the mouth."

Fair enough, I think, at least she directed her anger at the right person.

But then the judge asked if she loosened some of his teeth in the punch. I totally did not expect her reply, "That old fool. He got that gum disease think and his teeth is so loose he could flick them out with a tooth pick. Anyway, he done picked them up and put them back in. "


So then, I leave and go to afternoon Court where my "come to Jesus" talk with a guy I recently let out of jail made him cry. Hey, look, after rotting in jail for 6 months I've got this guy into a program that gives him free College training and by damn if he's not going to take it seriously, he can sit and rot in jail. I have a guy who is driving 45 minutes every day to pick him up and take him to and from the program- with gas prices being what they are! I pointed out that if he had availed himself of this program the last time I put him in jail three years ago (this writ was outstanding for over a year) then he would be done with the course, earing 20 bucks an hour and have a home, a car and a a sense of pride. I just hope he will step up to the plate.

So that brings me to 7 am Court this morning where I'm talking to one of the other defense attorneys and asking her if she ever made anyone cry when she was a prosecutor and she hadn't and I was kind of stunned- I mean she's way tougher than I am. So she says that one time she was standing in the hall and no one else was really around and she was negotiating with a Defendant and he got really really mad and took his false teeth out and threw them at her.

He took them out and THREW THEM AT HER.