Fun Court Stories....

Ok, so yesterday I defended 6 people in the morning and prosecuted 5 people in the afternoon. It can make you feel kind of bi-polar to do that, but it can also help you see the big picture.

My particular defendants were pretty routine, but then there was a fabulous case that wasn't even mine.

A woman and a man standing in front of the Judge. They are in their 50s or 60s and married. Country folk. The woman is pleading guilty to DV III. The Judge's asks her if she hit the man. She tells him she'd rather not say and he tells her she must tell him if she's going to plead guilty. So she says, "Yeah, he walked into my home with another woman and I sure as heck did punch him in the mouth."

Fair enough, I think, at least she directed her anger at the right person.

But then the judge asked if she loosened some of his teeth in the punch. I totally did not expect her reply, "That old fool. He got that gum disease think and his teeth is so loose he could flick them out with a tooth pick. Anyway, he done picked them up and put them back in. "


Bwwaahhh.

So then, I leave and go to afternoon Court where my "come to Jesus" talk with a guy I recently let out of jail made him cry. Hey, look, after rotting in jail for 6 months I've got this guy into a program that gives him free College training and by damn if he's not going to take it seriously, he can sit and rot in jail. I have a guy who is driving 45 minutes every day to pick him up and take him to and from the program- with gas prices being what they are! I pointed out that if he had availed himself of this program the last time I put him in jail three years ago (this writ was outstanding for over a year) then he would be done with the course, earing 20 bucks an hour and have a home, a car and a a sense of pride. I just hope he will step up to the plate.

So that brings me to 7 am Court this morning where I'm talking to one of the other defense attorneys and asking her if she ever made anyone cry when she was a prosecutor and she hadn't and I was kind of stunned- I mean she's way tougher than I am. So she says that one time she was standing in the hall and no one else was really around and she was negotiating with a Defendant and he got really really mad and took his false teeth out and threw them at her.

He took them out and THREW THEM AT HER.

Eeeeewwwwwwww.