She Put What Where?

Thought I might do a legal post before I did my "Alabama Lawyer in Colorado" series.

Ok, so on the plane to Denver Mommy Dearest is reading our local paper. She begins choking at one article, piquing my interest.

The article is about a woman who is arrested on only FTA (Failure to appear) traffic warrants.
These aren't such a big deal.

When she arrives at the Jail the corrections officer who supervises her changing from her clothes to the jumpsuit sees something emerging from her privates. They call in other officers and do a cavity search that reveals that the "something" is a bag of pills. Oops, now we have a felony possession charge and a misdemeanors "promoting prison contraband."

But wait, there's more!

After the pills, she complains of abdominal pains. It turns out there is more up there than pills. Oh yes! Further checking reveals a (soft) pack of Newport cigarettes.

She was taken to the hospital for X-rays to insure there wasn't more up there.

Newports-- Soft enough to go... No, I can't. I can't say it.