The khaki Pants Story...

So, when I went to visit my British friend at his home I should have known it was going to be a tough weekend. The first thing that happened was that he told me to catch the train to Lester. When I arrived at the train station there was no place called Lester. I promptly phoned him and he began laughing hysterically. Apparently, its spelled Liecester.

Ok, so I catch the (later) train.

When I arrived he picked me up and we went to his parent's home. My friend was always very proper and so I was dressed in my best traveling outfit and trying to look spiffy. Unfortunately, being me, I had gotten something on my pants. His parents wanted to take us out on a tour, so I said, "That would be lovely, but I seem to have gotten something on the fanny of my khaki pants so I'd like to freshen up and put on some clean ones. " Everyone got the wierdest looks on their faces. My friend asked me if I was ok. His mother asked if I needed some Pepto Bismal. I said, "No, I'll be fine, I just want to put on my blue pants and wash the spot off my khaki pants." Again weird looks. As though I had just spoken about something quite impolite, but they were going to do their best to ignore my gaffe, because I was, after all, American, and probably couldn't help it.

Finally it dawned on BL, "You mean the back of your tan trousers?" "Yes," I said, "My khakis."

He then pulled me aside and explained to me that: 1. Fanny was the British word for a woman's privates. 2. Pants are what they call underwear and 3. Khaki is slang for shit (especially in my Southern accent).

Yes, I had just announced to his parents that I had shit in the crotch of my underwear.

We all had a good laugh after we translated for each other.

And that is the story of the khaki pants....