I like to keep funny things with me in Court so that when the stress level gets too high, I can make myself laugh. After a hard week this week, I pulled this out of my forms folder:
From Washington v. Alaimo, 934 F. Supp. 1395 (S.D. Ga. 1996)
..."Inmate plaintiff's complete disregard of and noncompliance with explicit court order to show cause why Rule 11 sanctions should not be imposed upon him for filing motion for improper purposes warranted dismissal with prejudice; motion which plaintiff filed was entitled "Motion to Kiss My Ass" in which he moved "all Americans at large and one corrupt Judge Smith {to} kiss my got [sic] damn ass sorry mother fucker you."
This always makes me smile. I especially love the thought of the person summarizing this inserting the {to} and [sic] after "got." S/he's sitting there thinking, "Dude, you can't even insult the man in proper English."
That one's almost as good as the old divorce case MadDog loves to read (and I'll have to give you the cite later) where the Judge writes, "Like a dog returning to its excrement, so he returned to the fair and delectable Vinah."
Have a wonderful day : )
4 comments:
being on the subject of catharsis, is it ok (by law, sans Judeo-Christian ethics) to punch someone attempting to take a piss on your car? I would not ask had the opportunity not presented itself Friday night. -Billy
p.s.- myself being the almost-puncher
This seems to be a common occurance in the plains. 11 years ago the same thing happened to me, although he not only pissed on it but kicked in the door. I promptly filed a police report, but didn't follow through. I ended up meeting the guy and he turned out to be OK, just extremely drunk at the time. He thought my car was his and was irritated his keys wouldn't work.
-White Shepherd
Billy- No, as your attorney I have to advise you that it is not legally ok to punch someone for taking a piss on your car. However, when you tell him to stop pissing on your car and he takes a swing at you- it is ok to defend yourself- although you do have a duty to retreat when possible. See the difference there? Was he pissing on your car per se, or was he just pissing and wanted something at which to aim? Tis a pitty this is not South Africa where you can have passive deterrent devices which would allow you to electrify your car like an electric fence and make him really, really sorry he did that.
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