Ok, I'm going ahead and posting this even though it isn't done. Real work has been intruding...
There is a David Allen Coe song with a verse that was very appropos for the Mullet toss: Bikers stare at cowboys, who are laughing at the hippies, who are hoping they'll get out of here alive....
I don't know how many people were there. I do know that there were, on average, 300 people in line to use the port-o-lets at any one time (15 Port-o-lets+ 20 people per line= plenty of time to count people). Extrapolating from this fact, plus the fact that I peed 3 times in a 8 hour period, and the relational density between the line and the beach, I determined there were at least 10,000 people there.
I would like to thank the Port-O-Let company who had female advisors because those "hover grab bars" on the front of the door are fabulous for those of us who just had knee surgery and were really worried about not being able to hover well. Falling onto that seat after the first few hours...beyond nasty.
We arrived at the un-godly hour of 10:15 am. This is when our friend began to play. This is why I was drinking a beer by 10:30, got burned despite spf30 on my shoulders, and didn't notice until the next day.
Top five favorite sights:
1. Spam Man. No, he's not advertising, he just likes to dress like that. Spam, Spam, Spam Spam.
2. The five 70 year old plus ladies sitting around laughing, drinking and having fun.
3. The skinny Hulk Hogan look alike who danced, clogged, stumbled and kow-towed to every band who played from 10:15 until 6 pm, non- stop.
4. Biker boots+ black shorts+leather vest= biker beach wear.
5. Have a home video camera? Shoot your own personal "Girls gone wild" video. Any man+any video camera= GGW. Seriously girls, um, you should really not seek your fame that way.
Best story I heard: A new friend of mine is shooting a movie to be called "The last American Road House" and he was shooting footage for the movie a few months ago at the Flora-Bama. The movie is not a GGW rehash, but nonetheless, apparently young women see cameras and flash automatically. (A Pavolvian response I'm sure) After a long night of shooting a tearful young woman comes up to him and is crying about how she flashed him and she is not signing any release and she is a teacher and this will ruin her career and he mush rewind and erase... and camera man says, "Look, we're not shooting boobs, don't worry, it won't be shown." ...and she's still worried and is sobbing about her career and he said the guys with her were literally about to try to beat him up and he just kept explaining that he wasn't shooting boobs and he wouldn't be using them.
I just started picturing this teacher at home-- still worried the other shoe is going to drop. She is buying the videos to see if she's on them....Sometimes at night she thinks about it and gets that anxious feeling..."I'm going to be fired!" And he really isn't going to use the footage.
Lets see, what else, Oh Tatoos. There were a lot of tatoos.
I like tatoos. I, personally, haven't figured out any thing with which I want to permently mark my body, but I like them. This said, I really think one should put a lot of thought into a tatoo. I mean, this isn't like most things-- it really will last forever--you have to think 50 years into the future. So: that tatoo of a sunshine on your cleveage will look really wierd when you are 55- droopy and wrinkly. Up side: Men (and women) will continure staring at your boob trying to figure out what that that thing is. Down side: When we figure it out we're kind of ickified.
I also think you should really think about it if you're going to have tribal markings placed on your body unless you are comfortable with your inclusion in said tribe. There were some great Maori tatts on people who were definitely not Maori. One day some Maori dude is going to call you on that shit. That's like getting a gang symbol when you're not a part of the gang-- should be avoided. Along this line, if you're going to be combining symbols of major religions, you should think carefully. The (white frat boy) dude with the Latin Cross and chinese symbols at each corner... First commandment: "The Lord thy God is a Jealous God...."
And then, the frat boys with the abstract shoulder vine things or arm band designs. Yes, your shoulders look sexy, but dude, it looks like you all went to the same place and got the same thing.
Ladies: Dolphins going into your ass are so over. And the cute blonde girl I saw with "Shorty" tatooed on her neck (She was 5'8") in cursive right under her hair line-- good placement, but that's a fad word and in 20 years your kids are going to ask you about that and you're going to have to admit you had rap slang tatooed on you.
Look, a tatoo should mean something to you. Good rule of thumb: If you walk into the tatoo place and you're trying to decide what to get, then you need to go home and think about it.
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