I know a woman whose husband is a doctor. She was having a procedure and while waiting for her doctor, she decided to review her chart. On the chart was written, "Subject is an obese white woman in her 50s."
There it was in black and white: she wasn't just overweight, she was obese.
It embarrassed and upset her so much she did something about it. She started exercising. She ate healthier. She gave up eating the whole pan of brownies and stuck with having just a couple. She is now in the range of a healthy weight for her height and age and healthier and happier.
And then there are the people like the woman I saw on TV who was screaming at the airline because they insisted she purchase an extra seat because she would not fit comfortably in one seat.
I am pretty sure she felt the same embarrassment and shame over her weight but instead of turning to herself she lashed out and blamed those around her. Of course, maybe she was neither embarrassed nor ashamed, but rather a member of this growing fat acceptance movement. I do know there was liberal use of her lawyer's name in vain. (As an attorney I always cringe when I hear someone doing that, "I'm going to call my lawyer and we're going to sue you!" yeah, please don't tell people that. IT NEVER MAKES THE SITUATION BETTER.)
I have heard a lot of talk lately about weight and discrimination and about weight and our society. Not only are more and more women (and men) in their 30s and 40s developing eating disorders, but more and more men and women are becoming fatter and fatter. People are obsessed with diets and food fads and seem to be fixating on controlling their diets to such an extent that they wind up flat out obsessing about food.
I happen to be a fairly thin person. I would describe my body type as athletic. My body, like everyone else's, is a product of three intersecting factors: heredity, food consumption, and exercise.
Not everyone can look like Brooke Shields, or Paris Hilton but everyone can be a healthy weight. Allowing yourself to be actually obese, as medically defined, is a personal choice. I am always in favor of your personal choice, but, like all personal choices there are and should be consequences, which is why the anti-overweight discrimination movement bugs me.
Sure you have every right to weigh what you want- but why should I have to squish up in a plane seat because you are coming over on my side? Why should I have to subsidize your diabetes medication when you wouldn't need it if you lost that weight? Why should I pay for medications directly related to your choice? You speak out about how you shouldn't have to pay more for insurance to cover all these smokers and I agree with you! I smoke and I know its an unhealthy choice and I think I should pay more for insurance because of it.
At the same time, I feel incredibly guilty for my stance here. I work with a lot of overweight women. I am constantly fielding questions about my weight and how I stay thin. I pass along my healthy habits, like always taking the stairs. My favorite healthy meals. And a whole lot of "heredity" pass offs- "I'm lucky, I picked skinny ancestors." Most of them lament their weight, but then describe dinners that would make a lion choke-- junk food, entire pizzas for each member of the family, pre-cooked convenience foods- not a vegetable mentioned. "Have some respect for your body!" I want to scream at them- but how do you say that to a family where both parents work and stopping to get McDonalds gives them that precious 20 minutes of together time?
And then there are the obsessives- like the girl I know whose doctor made her stop exercising because she stopped getting her period and couldn't get pregnant. She did, and became pregnant- but then she snuck off and exercised anyway because she didn't want to get fat- putting herself and her unborn baby at risk. Then there was my roommate in college who was a vegan. For Lent one year she gave up diet Pepsi which was a major food group for her. She ate basically 750 calories a day and ran five miles and walked five miles each and every day. Her body was in such starvation mode I think she could have not eaten for a week and not lost an ounce. She would sit in the room and tell me how many calories each French fry I was eating had. She couldn't believe I could eat the turkey bagel with Swiss cheese (200 turkey+350 bagel + 150 Swiss cheese +25 lettuce tomato and mustard= 725 calories) and the plate of French fries for lunch. And the regular mountain dew. And the cookie. By the time our year was up, between her and my other sorority sisters, I had trouble eating in front of other people because I felt weird for being able to eat as much as I did and as normally as I did.
I think a lot of people would benefit from having way fewer food choices. From thinking about food a whole lot less. From eating normal, balanced meals. In other words: a healthy dose of moderation. At the same time, I'm not going to force them to live in a manner that I know would be to their benefit. Just don't try to sell me on obesity as a special status that should be given legal protection: you're welcome to be fat but I'm also welcome to not want to hire you because I think your weight reveals something about you. The airline should be able to charge you for 2 seats if you take up two seats- just like they won't let me smoke for your safety and comfort.
This has been the Philosophicalawyer's politically incorrect rant on obesity.
8 comments:
I couldn't have said it better myself.
Thanks Sara.
It's an addiction, plain and simple. Just as people who don't smoke are disgusted by smokers, so too thin people just can't understand how people can get huge. The endorphines released in an over-eater when they gobble a chocolate pie are no different than the ones experienced by smack addicts. Unfortunately, while we spend our time fighting drugs and alcohol, the most dangerous addiction (eating for pleasure) has become part of the American way. When you heavy-weights look down your nose at us that smoke, drink, or do drugs, remember that the #1 killer of men is heart-attack. Most heart-attacks are caused by obesity and poor eating habits. And women who are obese are steadily catching up to us men in the heart-attack race. I do earnestly believe it is human nature to be an addict. Anyone who says they are not addicted to something simply is trying to hide their secret little addiction. I personally have just ended all my socially unacceptable addictions, and have replaced them with exercise. Will it kill me? Probably, but at least I'll look good doing it! -WS
Thoughts from a recovering anorexic.....
What about those people who were overweight and made the long struggle to loose the weight so they could be healthy & fit the "norm", but somewhere down the road they became the "obsessive" & nearly died. Then the long struggle to feel safe eating was forcefully perused. Now you have screwed your metabolism and forcing down salads & healthy portion controlled meals puts weight on and you feel like you are going to die with each pound gained.
My point is, just like you shouldn't make blanket judgments and stereotype people of any sect, this should be the same case. Yes, you saw one large woman being rude & uncompromising, but don't lump all of those struggling to fit into the middle world - not to fat & not to skinny - with the entire overweight population because you might not realize the effort and pain for the image.
You know I struggled with this thinking about you and others like you who are working so hard to have a "normal" relationship with food and with your body. Thank you for your comments and reminder to me that weight is so...personal. I applaud your hard work and empathize with your struggle. You are right to remind us all that stereotyping is almost always distructive not constructive.
I hate to agree with you, but I do. Even though I tend to yo-you a bit, I have friends who have undergone the gastric bypass surgery and now their health is even more at risk! One friend was 280 pounds at 5'2" and now she is 120 pounds and struggling to stay there! You know that insurance rates have skyrocketed because of such surgeries and the ongoing medications that permanently follow! She looks like a skeleton with saggy skin now (and she thinks she looks great "with clothes on.)"
On the other hand, I am like your co-workers who live in a fast food world. There IS precious little time to cook "right" and exercise. It's up and at 'em, shower, make the bed, wake the kids, take the kids to school, go to work, watch the kids extra curricular activities, rush home...rummage up something to fill the void, do the dishes, laundry, take out the trash, and hopefully grab a few minutes to read or whatever, sleep 6-7 hours and start all over.
Don't have kids or get married then (the cynnical or career minded individual might say). Well, touche' ... but it's too late for regrets now (and that applies to a very large percentage of the population)!
Hmmm. I just wrote an entire book agreeing with you and the blog didn't publish it!
Basically, I'm sad about the fact that you are warranted in your feelings. I have friends who had g.i. bypass surgery (making our insurance rates skyrocket) and who are now undernourished and look like skeletons with baggy skin. Their health hasn't improved, and if anything got worse because now they need medication just to keep them from "dumping" or vomiting so they won't become malnourished. One went from 280 pounds to 120 pounds (at 5'2"). She looks positively anorexic!
I am an unfortunate subscriber to your co-worker lifestyle. I yo-yo and struggle with 20-25 pounds of extra weight (making me obese) but live in a fast food world. Get up, wake kids, take to school, off to work, sports events, dinner, dishes, laundry, clean house, pay bills, read, sleep, start again. Rarely is there time to shop, let alone cook properly or exercise. I take the stairs and park farther away, it doesn't help much.
Self control is hard to come by too. So many are stressed because there is no "down time" or "quality family time" they turn to food. The career minded or somewhat cynical might say, "You made your bed-now lay in it." Well, touche'...but tell that to a great majority of the population!
Oh...sorry, I just got that you have to read and approve all blogs. So...you can delete them if you'd like. I got a little long winded. My apologies. I like your blogs though. You lead an interesting life and have good perspectives!
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