Had a chick come in the other day. I knew she was lying when she told me her story, but I also knew it didn't matter. Told her what I could do to help her, and what I couldn't. Named an excessive price because I was busy enough. (The back story isn't that interesting; She filed a false police report and wanted to get out of it. Which she couldn't. But I could make it very easy and simple. )
She brought me the money.
That's the thing about lawyers- most of the time our prices are flexible. How much do I need money and how much will it take to make me care about your problem... The intersection of those two numbers is where my price is.
Thus, if you've been screwed by the system and I feel sorry for you, less cost to you. If you've been an idiot and I think you're going to be high maintenance...More cost to you.
So, my client... Lets start with the last thing she did, on the Friday before Christmas when I really didn't want to be at work...When she went to turn herself in after I had arranged it all... No bail, 15 minutes in and out- all set up. Considering what she paid me, I was even waiting in the Courtroom for her to get done and walk her back to her car. For a price, I will hold your hand. I would still make $400.00 per hour even after the waiting time....
But of course, nothing ever goes as planned.
She had a joint in her pocket.
Who on God's green earth doesn't realize they have a joint in their pocket when they go to turn themselves in? I suggest that if you are unable to know the whereabouts of your drugs at all times, it means you have a problem, which is why I rolled my eyes at her when she started in on some crap about forgetting she had it in there.
So, the sergeant and I had a little talk. And the investigator. And I plead with them. And I got them to throw the stupid thing away. She is, I point out, going to plead guilty to another charge which will result in her being on probation. Which will result in drug testing.
We get out of there and I make fun of her for being stupid. I warn her how lucky she was and that I am amazed I was able to talk them into throwing it away. I wonder if I got through to her, but its the Friday before Christmas and I don't have time to save the world from themselves. She hugs me as she gets into the car and tells me how much she appreciates all my help. Her mother has made me cookies. And all I can think...
... Is that I haven't done anything to get ready for Christmas.
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