Thursday, May 10, 2007

A letter to Paris Hilton's father... (and any other fathers of wealthy popular young people who happen to stumble across this page.)

Dear Mr. Hilton,


You seem like a sensible man. I'm sure you have your eccentricities; at your level of wealth, you would be abnormal if you didn't, but you need to have a Come to Jesus talk with Paris. Please. Now. Before she ends up a 30 year old washed-up has been.

Paris doesn't get it. Yeah, yeah, I am ashamed to admit how many interviews of her I have read, so I have heard her theory that her Simple Life character is just that, a character, and that she really does work hard... blah blah blah, poor little rich girl. But at this point, I'm not buying it, and neither should you. I mean, would YOU hire Paris to work for you? No, you would hire someone competent who wouldn't have a melt down when you asked her to bring you a file and coffee and oh! By-the-way did you do that report I asked you for yesterday?

She doesn't get that while she leads a wildly privileged life, it also has its own price. MadDog used to say to me, "To whom much is given, from her much is expected." I think this is really good advice for Paris, too. You, her FATHER, are the only one to get this lesson into her brain- and you had better hurry up because she's not getting younger.

The excuse that her publicist told her wrong? Absolutely pathetic. THIS is her LIFE- you listen to the (extremely expensive) lawyers and DO WHAT THEY SAY. You SIGN UP for the stupid class and get it done. You take RESPONSIBILITY for your actions. No, Paris was hoping that if she did nothing it would all slide away- because that's what has worked for her in the past. YOU, her father, are directly responsible for this (mis)perception on her part- because you have let her get away with things in the past. I'm sure like many parents you would get angry, ground her or assign a punishment, and then if she was quiet you'd forget all about it in a few days. You probably didn't stop Kathy from calling up the school when Paris complained about a teacher. I wonder how many assignments you got her As on. Do you know what it teaches a child when a parent helps persuade the teacher to bend the rules, except when there is a very very compelling reason? That rules are bendable. While this is true under many circumstances, if you had got some sense into her- she would understand where the line of demarcation was. For example, in the legal system- As Irving Welsh said, "Same rules apply."

I remember in High School I had AP senior English, and we had to write a term paper. We had to make note cards, an outline and so forth- there were maybe 6 or 7 steps we had to complete. It was so absurd. The teacher made us do each of the steps- make the note card, put the cite on the card and then put the corresponding part of your outline numbering on the card..... My best friend didn't make note cards and she did end notes instead of foot notes. The teacher gave us a sheet of paper telling us that a letter grade would be taken from the paper for each step we failed to follow exactly. She told us she was preparing us for college. When the day came to hand in our papers (Mine, I believe, was about Northern Ireland; I made an A-, for spelling of course!) My friend was so far off from what we had been told to do that even though her mother let her stay home that morning and work on her paper she made a D. My friend was livid at the teacher- but her mother was livid at HER. Her mother, who had just put herself though college, tore her up one side and down the other. As well she should. And my friend learned her lesson- and while she may have lapsed once or twice in College she suddenly "got" that there are often in life arbitrary, stupid and/or unfair rules- but you follow them anyway under most circumstances. She also learned that failing to follow them resulted in consequences. Mmmmm, Consequences.

I know its hard to deal with the fact that if you had had this talk a few years ago (Maybe when the sex tape got out?) your baby girl might not have had to spend 40 days in the hoosegow, but you've got to tell her this is a tough lesson but it will make her a better person, and no you can't get her out of it, she'll have to take it on the chin like a woman. And for the rest of you parents out there- get your chillrens back in line and don't make the Judge act In Loco Parentas.

Have a great day,

Philosophicalawyer

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