Wednesday, January 17, 2007

What I learned in Court this week....

More examples of what happens when parents don't parent well:

When you're a trustee in jail, and the guards ask you to scrub the toilets, if you don't then they're going to find someone else to be trustee, who is happy to scrub toilets in exchange for having a cooler, bigger cell with TV and extra food, not to mention phone and vending machine access.

Then, when you're mad at the guards because you wouldn't do what you're supposed to do, and they put you in a three man cell because you pitch a fit at being put back in population and they're trying to be nice even though you are being a pain in their buttocks...

and they're working on the cameras so they have to come personally check the cell every 15 minutes to make sure nothing bad happens....

so you strip nekkid and strap your sweatshirt around your neck and stand on the edge of the bed for 14 minutes, then jump off the bed the second you hear the guards coming....

remember, that just because the guards can't see the cameras, doesn't mean they're not recording and that when they get the cameras fixed and they watch the tape, and see you standing there listening for them for 14 minutes, they are going to be very very very angry because your temper tantrum caused them to have to fill out a whole lot of extra paperwork and one of them has to sit outside your cell 24/7 because even though they know you didn't really want to kill yourself, they have to FOLLOW THE RULES AND DO WHAT THEY ARE ORDERED TO DO which you wouldn't understand...

....So don't get all pissy with your lawyer when she comes to see you and tells you that you have 240 days of revoked time to serve on your previous convictions, and the prosecutor is not making any good offers, so we might as well just set it for trial because you're not getting out of here today.

Don't you understand that they were nice to the last guy who tried to kill himself because he has REAL mental problems?

And no, its not a violation of your civil rights that they took away your clothes and made you wear the suicide nightshirt AFTER YOU TRIED TO KILL YOURSELF. And no, its not a violation of your civil rights to be asked to scrub a toilet. Um, yeah, I did that myself just this weekend. Yeah but what? And.... dear Lord dude, you are a 26 year old white male- it is NOT a violation of your rights that the head jailer won't give you credit for good time. You have to earn it. It says right there on the piece of paper posted in the jail hallway: Good time is a privilege not a right.

Finally, do you think yelling "Fuck this shit!" at the top of your lungs is going to reach the Judge's ears and cause her to think, "Gee, I really need to speak with that inmate. He probably has some real and serious grievances and I should make all these people in the Courtroom wait so that I can address the needs of that prisoner right now?" Really? Cause we did hear you in the Courtroom and that's not what she's thinking of doing to you.

2 comments:

ronco said...

Thank you for your blog. Very interesting (I like client stories and points of law, though I have no legal training.) But I disagree with the title of this entry (when parents don't parent well). I'm a parent, and a decent one, though not perfect. And I have a 15 yr old son who would act the same as the trustee who opted to not scrub the toilet, and then felt unfairly treated. This is not always bad parenting. Sometimes it's just the kid. My 21 yr old gets it. My 15 yr old doesn't. Same parents. More than half his life spent in counseling, working on anger management, and you-name-it. And he blames everyone else for the bad things that inevitably happen to him. Maybe this inmate was like my son. It's very tempting to label this as something (stupid kid?), but if I understood the problem, I wouldn't need a label. I'd just fix it. But parents can't fix everything.

St Yves said...

You know, you have a really good point. Actually, you have two really good points- kids raised by the same parents can come out completely different (I know- I'm married to an identical twin....) and that if there was a perscription for addressing this subject- you (and other decent parents) would follow it! I agree : )