Happy things/sad things/ things that have to be done

Just so you don't think I spend all my time rolling my eyes at morons- I spent Sunday helping a client clean her home. I learned a lesson which I hope you will remember:

Just because she was in the middle of divorcing the abusive ass and he killed himself, doesn't mean the whole thing is a cake ride. Sure she got to move back into the house- but everything reminds her of him. His stuff is everywhere. His car, his dog. Sometimes, she feels guilty that his killed himself, sometimes she feels guilty for being glad he's dead. Sometimes she feels guilty for feeling bad that he killed himself- because she's supposed to hate him for hurting her. And she's going through all this in her early 20's. Her family? They had written her off before this happened because she didn't leave him the first time he abused her, and now they have no sympathy for her. No one helped her plan the funeral, no one helped her clean out his stuff. She has to think about what their daughter will want when she grows up- she's 18 months. She has to work full time and take care of their child.

So, I went and helped organize and clean and made lunch, and we got a lot done. I just kept telling her that as long as she can go to work and take care of the baby the rest of it could wait. We put a lot of stuff into the junk room to be dealt with later- but at least her living room and bed room are clean so she doesn't lie on the couch and feel guilty for not doing more. I suggested she bring out a box a week to sort through and it would be done by Christmas.

Next week we'll finish repairing the bathroom (from where he pounded the wall in.) and paint. Nothing makes you feel more at home than new paint.