My First Blog

My adventure today:

Today I represented a wonderful young man charged with both Menacing and Harassing communications. In the Harassing Communications warrant the complaintiant lists my client's occupation as "My Drug Dealer." She also shows up to Court in pajama bottoms and slippers. The other warrant also lists my client's occupation as "drug dealer." My client was tall with tight short cornrows and full Auburn regalia-- from jacket, pants and shoes to the wallet clipped to his belt loop. The whole nine yards- orange and blue Woo whooo! He was also wall eyed and I had a lot of trouble not giggling when he started using his rap on me-- "Ya' knowwhatimsayin, I was in Cincinnati when she don' said I was callin' hea' main." Complete with illustrative arm movements and eyes flying in all directions. I breathe and compose myself. I point out they have phones in Cincinnati, too, my question is, "Did you call her?" "naw naw, that's not how it is I done been talkin' to her cousin, see, and she done get mad at her and then she done sweared out this warrant on me all false like and all youknowwhai'msayin'. He also tells me that he isn't this guy's drug dealer- this guy is his drug dealer. I keep telling him that I want to try this because both of these people are KNOWN (in other words-- um, all three people here have extensive criminal histories) and his word is just as good as theirs is. If they're lying, then lets tell the Judge.

Then, he makes an interesting although logically null statement: "I'm a three time felon, main, and I can't own no gun. I get another felony, its life for me. How can I be waving a gun around if I can't own no gun?"

Dude, I say, "Its Alabama. Anyone can get a gun in Alabama. Now, I agree, it would be stupid of you to have a gun and waive it around- but come on, you can get a gun."

Back and forth. I try to pull the reality out of him, but he's one of those guys who is more interested in trying his versions on me to see if one sticks. I blow holes in all his logic.

He takes the plea, and I can't argue with him.

I have noticed that most of my misdemeanor clients will tell me the truth (or at least a reasonable version of same). In a small town like this we all have to take these appointments since we do not have a Public Defender. Most of the time, these people just want someone to help them navigate through the system and answer their questions. I really enjoy it because most of the time my clients tell me what they did do and I can help them.

For example, last week: Dude fires a gun into the ceiling of his wife's best friend's house where wife's beau was staying because my guy just got back from Afghanistan and, naturally, found out about the beau. He is charged with Reckless Endangerment and Tresspassing by wife's friend. He refuses to plead guilty to the tresspassing on account of the fact that he left immediately when asked. I got the Tresspassing dropped and he happily goes up to plead guilty to the Reckless Endangerment-- except then when we got in front of the Judge the friend got so angry at the prosecutor for dropping the Tresspassing that she dropped the other charge because, Because. I didn't understand that logic, but I also didn't argue. I got the dismissal and then hauled my client into the corner away from friend so she wouldn't get ticked on the way out and change her mind.

I was irritated for my client. He goes to defend his country and what does he get? A wife cheating on him- subsidized by his wages! I suggested that maybe he needed to take some time to re-orient himself. I know the military gets people pumped up to go go overseas and KILL, but you got to remember you're home now. You can't handle this with a gun. I told him to divorce the bitch, don't hurt her. Any Judge would give him a great settlement but if he goes off committing Domestic Violence he's gonna loose any advantage he has. He goes into Court as patriot with a cheating spouse-- he gets it all. He goes into Court as crazy military dude who used his training to stalk and hurt her- he gets blacklisted, nailed to the wall, and looses part of his retirement to her.