Courtroom procedure

A Courtroom, I decided early on in my career, is like the stage in a play. Most of what we do is routine and, well, scripted. Prosecutor asks that the charges be Dismissed Without Prejudice, Defense lawyer wants them Dismissed With Prejudice. You have routine questions and routine answers. Except sometimes you think your client understands your questions and she doesn't.

I learned not to use euphemisms too often this way:

Interview:
Me: Could anyone else be the father of your child?
CP: (custodial parent): Well, I was talkin to a couple of guys, but Mr. Y is the only one who could be the father...
Me: So you were talking to a few men, but only one of them could have conceived the child with you?
Cp: Yes.

In front of Judge:

Me: Now, Ms. X, did you and Mr. Y have sexual relations approximately 9 months before this child was born?
Cp: Yes.
Me: Did you have sexual relations with anyone else at that time?
Cp: Yes.
Me: Ummm, wait, you said earlier no one else could be the father.
Cp: I tole you I was talkin to a couple of men.
Me: If we could have a moment, your Honor.

(We move to the side, since I don't want to figure this out in front of Judge)

Me: What in the world? Why didn't you tell me there was another possibility?
Cp: He ain't the daddy.
Me: I didn't ask you that, I asked you if someone else Could be the daddy.
Cp: I was talkin to both of them but Mr. Y he's the daddy.
Me: I don't care who you were talking to, I care who you had sex with when the child was conceived.
Cp: I told you I was talkin to him.


After this incident I started using the blunt "Who did you have sex with?" with the women.